They are gone! Trapped, where I imagined they belonged, lost as a price for their vanity, for rising up and seizing power, using it to harm and abuse the people! Even before they were sealed away, before their time came, I was damned and shamed for daring to try and free the People from their chains, from their abuse! "Beware the forms of Fen'Harel! Remember the price of treason, and keep in your heart the mercy of your gods!"
[ It isn't something he can expect someone not from Arlathan to understand. Solas had stood in the wake of the Evanuris, he had been there, had demanded the freedom of those who had never been given it, released them from their chains and their brands... And then he woke here, to see the same markings being used as a form of worship. There are few things that would hurt him so deeply, and this is a wound that will not heal. ]
I come to them with the truth, when they parade with the brands of their slave masters on their faces. They do not fear and respect me, they respect the lie that was built upon my legacy when I fell into a deep sleep. I will not become what the Evanuris were! I will not rise and claim the mantle of godhood where it is undeserved - I will not claim to be anything more than what I am! I was Solas first, and Fen'Harel when they needed a name to damn me by!
[ Solas shifts, dragging his body away, alight with anger. All his frustration with Morrigan, with Sorrel, with Adalia, with the Dalish - all of it rises like bile in his throat. It is an anger born of years of hurt and pain, years of seeing the Dalish wear markings and claim truths, years of being shunned and ignored while basking in the truth of what made him. Of seeing his name damned when he had done no more than free the People. ]
Mythal was dead! Murdered by those who claimed to love her, who claimed her blood, her heritage! They claimed divinity but were no more powerful than the magic they used! I unravelled their lies and showed the People enslaved that they could be better - that they could have better! And -
[ He breathes out, sharply. ]
I am no God, Thranduil. I would not ask you to think of what Mythal was. No one could understand what Mythal had been, at her fullness. [ It's clear that Solas loved her, but what that love was... He cannot say now. ] I cannot use the title of Fen'Harel to have the Dalish love nor fear me. [ Quieter, now. ] I would be no better than those I damned to eternity. I have taken enough from the People - I want to give.
Brands? What do you- [ horror. the color drains from his face. he reaches up to touch his own cheek, and thinks of beleth. of sorrel. of merrill. he must tell them. they must know.
(it does not cross his mind that solas is being anything but truthful.)
he releases solas, and steps back. gone is the stiletto-sharpness of his words, meant to flay his friend open so that they might address the ugly truths. ]
You are no god, no more than I. You are dear to me and close to my heart. You returned when Mythal did not.
[ he must rethink some things. reorganize. his voice is not hoarse, they were not that loud, and shielded from the hearing of the rest of the gallows too, but he finds his glass, and drinks deeply from it. he would rather address the wine than his friend. ]
They do not parade, Solas. [ softly. ] They simply know no better, and cling to what scraps they have. If you want to give them something, give them love. Unconditionally. Accept that they will stumble, like children, cry, like children, have fits of temper, like children, for children is all they are.
[ he hesitates, a moment of consideration, of interrupted thought: ] They die like flies, breed when they are but children, but Solas, but there ought to have been enough of those who followed you, who knew the truth. Where did they go? Did they have no children? Leave no record? This is too much to forget, even with how little time they had.
[ how had they all died? how was the truth forgotten this badly? ]
Vallaslin. They are slave markings. The Dalish claim they honour the Gods - the Keepers tell them that these are the symbols of the Gods. It is not so. A noble would mark his slave to honour the God he worshipped. The Gods being the Evanuris, the Masters of all, powerful mages who dared claim Godhood as their due for their strength.
[ Thranduil knows, now. Solas would not be fool enough to think that this will remain a secret for long, but the knowledge has always been there for the Dalish to take: they were simply unwilling to listen. There are things he would not tell them himself, knowing their reaction, but...
He is old, and he is tired, and he fighting to reclaim so much that was lost to him. His plan is set, he simply needs the parts to fall into place. Corypheus' end is simply one of those things. ]
I never left, Mellon nin. I slept, long into the millennia, and I watched as ages passed me by. I waited to have the strength to return, I hoped that the People would be enjoying the fruits of their freedom... But it was not so.
[ Solas turns, does not watch his friend drink, cannot bear to look upon him. His sadness is etched upon his face, surely. ]
I cannot love them they way that they are. Not when I see the scorn in their eyes and the ignorance in their hearts. I had tried, but in comparison to the People they try and claim to be...
[ His breathing is quiet, and he bows his head. There might be tears, but he forces his face away, to hide them from the one who might witness them. He is hurt, and he is shattered, but he will rebuild once more. He will be Solas again when the morning comes, but for now he can be weak.
Where did they go, he asks, and Solas can't even bring himself to laugh. ]
The creation of the Veil was designed to free my People from would be Gods. The Veil was a means to trap them where they could do no harm. It robbed the People of their immortality, and over time those that followed me fell to ruin and died. While I rebelled there were many who would not follow me, who damned my name - when I slept?
[ And here is the truth of it all, the heart of the matter, the last secret he has: ]
'Fen'Harel's Veil has turned our empire to ruins.'
[ he fits the new information into the gaps in his knowledge that have eaten at him for two and a half years. his silence is not ignoring solas, only pulling together the threads that have for so long seemed unconnected.
he has the full tapestry, now, not merely frayed ends. he needs to comfort his friend, first, but already he is adjusting his plans to make room for the truth, so long hidden from his sight. ]
Solas, [ he says, and when the other elf does not look up, he says again, sharper, ]Solas.
This is not beyond repair. There is yet space to make things right.
[ corypheus must fall, first, but this world is unblemished beyond the blight, and even that is not so insurmountable as melkor nor sauron. so many of thedas' problems would be solved by the guarding hand of a people unrestrained by time. thranduil has questions, chiefest among them the containment of the evanuris, the forgotten ones, but they can wait.
he steps closer and offers his hand. ]
You did well. I will thank you for it, if no one else has.
[ What else is there for Thranduil to know? He knows the depth of what Fen'Harel is and was; what Solas did, how Solas changed the world in the attempt to make it better. He had hoped the Veil would free the People, that they would be able to live and grow and flourish... He had not expected... This.
There's nothing left to tell, and he is exhausted from the weight of it. He feels as though he might fall apart, but he has someone - more than one someone - to push the pieces of himself together again.
The sharpness of his name makes him lift up and he hesitates, staring. ]
Is there?
[ For a moment, all Solas can do is stare at the hand offered to him. He doesn't know what to do with it, at least at first, and there's some hesitance to him. He's afraid of what it might mean to take the hand - he's afraid of what it might mean to accept everything that Thranduil offers. The comfort, the warmth, the friendship.
Things he had given up, things he had lost.
Solas takes the hand. ]
No one wants what the Veil did to the People. That is why I must end it.
Corypheus is... [ thranduil waves his hand, dismissive. ] Small. A flea. Had we been here with any strength, with a nation, with a People who possessed the foresight to fight him when he was yet manageable, he would have been handled long ago.
[ something lurks behind his eyes, in the way he momentarily gazes past solas, past this room. ]
He can be dealt with. Then the Veil, and the Blight, and finally things will be in their proper order.
[ he squeezes solas' hand, offering what comfort he can with the warmth of his affection, his certainty.
but another thought occurs to him: ]
What of the remaining Evanuris, when the Veil falls?
Corypheus has discovered something that gives him the power to survive what my Foci might do to him. It should have been enough to kill him once it was unlocked, but... [ Solas frowns. He has yet to discover what it is that has made this possible, what Corypheus did to make the orb... Work. Was it the Herald? Was it something else? The blast should have killed them, but...
He doesn't know. His eyes flick over to Thranduil. ]
It will take more time than I think you imagine it will, my friend. But I am prepared to give it whatever it needs.
[ This is his plan, his mistake, his thing to repair. He has to do it, and that is why he is still getting himself tangled with all these people. ]
... I had plans for them. Should they survive still... [ He shakes his head. ] It will be dealt with.
[ 'more time'. time with gwenaelle, then. time to breathe and enjoy her company. time to rest. yes, he will take whatever time before the storm that he is allowed. ]
We do not need a repeat of the past, [ he says, and hopes that will suffice rather than a drawn out conversation on what the remaining evanuris would likely do without the restraining influence of mythal (supposedly) or solas (at his full strength).
he smiles, wan. ]
Our last few meetings have been unpleasant. I apologize. I promise I get no joy from seeing you in distress.
[ There is time, but perhaps not as much as they might want or need. Time enough for them to feel as though there is not enough. ]
No. We do not. [ Frowning, Solas turns his head away. He has said enough this time, he thinks; he has bared his soul enough that he feels as though he might never be able to piece himself together again. It is painful, he thinks, but at least it is done. He cannot regret that.
Slowly, he turns back to look at Thranduil. ]
I come to you when I am distressed. It is no fault of yours.
More a question of how I may serve you, as it stands. I am Rani Lakshmi Bai [ introductions over and done with, she carries on - ] - part of Diplomacy and Head of Community Outreach at present. I have heard of your upcoming... public wedding and thought to lend my hand if it would be of use to you.
Good. [ pleased. ] Then you understand the shape of such things. My [ uhh what is a human word that humans use. ]intended has no desire to be in the midst of such things, and I would spare her them.
Are you familiar with the arrangement of such things in your own world?
I worry that you may come to associate me with your feelings of distress.
[ though how absolute, how trustworthy, to be someone's comfort. if he is to be an anchor of sorts, then let him be so. he has skill enough in being stubborn.
he turns his head, glances over at solas from under lidded eyes: ] It is a silly thing to worry that you think of me in such a way, I am aware. I suppose I am concerned more with the frequency that it happens. These past months have not been kind to you. Nothing has been kind to you in a long time, Solas.
Yes, she made it very clear on the time and level of involvement she was expected to have. [ A huff. ] I still have no idea how they get married in a day.
[ And that - well, she's smooth. ] Very familiar. [ She's expected to get the response that Gwen gave her so she says it as a matter of factly rather than with any sense of grandness over the notion. Just like rattling off a letter or recommendation and previous appointments. I, a woman of high repute, come thoroughly recommended - ] My own wedding took three weeks, itself, but I was marrying a King, so you can imagine the sort of affair it was. Granted I was quite young - [ a musing for latter she supposed. ] - but since then, I have organised many for my... court, as you would say, and even lower members have... certain expectations.
As I understand it, the ceremony itself will take but a few hours. The reception is to be the actual affair worth considering. Due to the events of a few years past [ anders. ] the venue for the ceremony itself is small, and can only fit so many, few of them Inquisition. The mingling will take place at her grandfather's estate, and that is where we are granted some measure of freedom to... win hearts and minds, let us say.
Are you comfortable scaling down preparations to fit one single day, your majesty?
[ the wife of a king is traditionally a queen. and he has still not forgotten the iskander incident(s). ]
[ because he parses out even his sindarin like a starving man conserving grains of rice, let alone other rifter tongues. he is assimilating. he is harmless, just a harmless big elf.
he then names a figure that could comfortably run the kirkwall outpost for half a month. ]
... that is not including my lady's dress, nor the customary donation to the Chantry for performing the ceremony, nor our carriage from the ceremony to the estate.
Trade? [ What - Oh, right. ] Bai means lady, that same as in my name, Lakshmi Bai, and Sabeha is... respected, worthy, that sort of meaning. Rani simply means Queen, and for us, suffices as a method of address.
[ And Goodness, maybe she should be calling him Lakshmi, she hadn't seen that much money since the last time she looked at a United India sales record. Well that... had... more than she expected to have to work with. ]
Then my first suggestion would be to find out what can be outsourced to your local craftsmen.
[ there is the rustling of paper. he is not base operations, to have the full list at hand, but he does have a selection of merchants, importers, the folk the inquisition has done business with before and can trust to do again. ]
I will have the list delivered to you post-haste, unless my lady wishes to only to advise. I am comfortable with allowing you the use of the line of credit Duke de Coucy has in the city.
[ That is a tremendous amount of trust to their family, and if she were there, she would bow her head in respect, as would be proper. But even so, she is... surprised. ] You honour me, thank you. If you think of any other details, please, I am now currently in the work of trying to assist any who come to us, and so...
[ But to carry on - ] My second, would be to provide entertainments in the streets during the hours of your reception. Bards - the singers - that sort of ilk. Things to share your cheer. Provided to all central places, so that wealthiest and poorest may partake of them communally. Perhaps things marriage and religiously themed? [ And what else - well, the simplest of all. The purposes of any festival if she was asked about it. He did, also, have enough money for it if she was going to get going. ] And for food, small cakes and the like, to be given out from the ... oh, Chantries, is it? To arrange a service to be done, and at that time for food to be given out in thanks to all who attend it.
[ damn her if she won't try, though, a carefulness in her voice as she picks out it. ] And if feel like the extra coin to be spent, a gift of blankets to the Chantries in the alienages for them to distribute, to show your goodwill in the name of your new faith. To those who shall be in need of Andraste's warmth once winter comes.
[ politely, even a touch ashamed: ] If you are too busy to allow for this frivolity of mine, there is no need to allow me to impose upon your time.
[ she speaks, and then he thinks, ah, and his tone is still remorseful as he address her. ]
I think... that there has been some level of misunderstanding. Very little of that would be appropriate. That level of festival would be appropriate for a noble wedding. To force the whole of the city to participate would be to place what is being done before them, to force them to watch.
[ and the truth: ] I am only being allowed this for a handful of reasons, chiefest among them that I am considered a Rifter by the Chantry authorities, and not an elf. Marriages of this sort are not legal, and to ask the nobles who have declined invitations, let alone the elves to witness that would not do anything for the Inquisition's reputation.
This event cannot have a hint of foreignness to it, and only enough pageantry to flatter Gwenaelle's father's nobility, and the standing of the Inquisition. We could manage, perhaps, some bards, and the distribution of uneaten food to Lowtown, but there is a line here.
You are giving me a joy of any community which wars have taken from me for years, and a new way to do the task which I have been set. No, I would bless you every day for this, it is no imposition.
[ A pause, hesitant - oh, she loathes this place and its understandings about what is too much, she thinks of Magni and Marcoulf coughing in shock over what she had spent on her spices for a simple meal. Or, literally coughing, in Marcoulf's case, when he'd taken a bite into it. Like she'd served him garam masala raw itself. ] A nobles wedding at least has at least three plays performed and a parade of horses and at least two elephants, to my reckoning, and it wouldn't dare go for a day. [ she sighs, irritated but there isn't much for it. It isn't her wedding after all. ]
Alright, then I will insist on the gifts given to the Chantry for the poorest, but we can forgo the rest.
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